Resolving Interpersonal Conflict

Interpersonal conflict occurs when a person or group of people frustrates or interferes with another person's efforts at achieving a goal. Conflict can consist of three different components. 
Firstly, the behavioral component which involves someone interfering with the objectives of another person. 
Next, the cognitive component which involves a disagreement between the parties that illustrates the differences between the interests and objectives of the conflicting parties.
Lastly, the affective component which relates to the negative emotional states of the conflicting parties. 

The most common conflict is where two people having different opinions. Their goal is to “win” or make the other person “lose”, showing high concern for self and low concern for others. For example, I happen to see this conflict between a salesman and a customer. Apparently, the customer come back to complain to the salesman about his spoilt product. After explaining why the product didn’t work, the salesman thinks that it isn’t his product fault and said it is probably some external equipment that cause it. The customer isn’t quite happy with his respond and demand a refund. However, the salesman insist that it cannot be refund as it is not caused by technical fault. This conflict went on and on until the manager steps in.

In order to solve this conflict, usually we need a third person to make a stand for both of them, simply the judge. They need to have a mutual goals and facilitate to a “win/win” situation for both of them, showing high concern for self and other. Sometimes, you can also put yourself into the shoes of the other person. Empathy is a good form which helps you understand the other person’s message.

If there is no manager and you are the passer by, how will you assist to solve this conflict?

Verbal & Non-verbal communication (Revised)

Verbal communication encompasses any form of communication involving words, spoken, written or signed. Together with non-verbal communication, it can affect people’s perceptions and exchanges in subtle but significant ways. Non-verbal communication includes body language, such as gestures, facial expressions, eye contact and posture. Here, I am going to share with you an observation between a salesman and a Caucasian.

Singaporeans have a unique slang within us, called Singlish. I saw a conversation between a Singaporean salesman and a Caucasian tourist. When the Caucasian ask the salesman how this product works, he replied: “Chicken feet lah!” The Caucasian then stop the salesman as was confused, “Why do I need a chicken feet for this product to work!?” He spoke to the salesman in a harsh tone. The salesman then calm him down and explain what he really meant. After the Caucasian understood the meaning of “Chicken feet” both of them started laughing.

This observation made me realise that there is a great language barrier among them as they came from different culture. The way they are brought up are very different.

Besides verbal communication, non-verbal communication can also affect the people around us. The words he said to the Caucasian affect his emotions. The salesman immediately react to his body language when the Caucasian turn red. Facial expression also tell us what the person is feeling now and also show his/her characteristics.

In conclusion, verbal and non-verbal communication can affect how people think and act. Though this may look like a negative story, not everyone thinks the same way. Some may think it as a learning lesson and reflection. Some may think the Caucasian is harsh. We can put ourselves in their shoes, however it all depends on the person's personality, characteristics and how they picture it.

Reference:

http://www.livestrong.com/article/156961-the-importance-of-verbal-non-verbal-communication/